If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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