U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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