all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
