We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
