letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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