I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
