This girl is more easily done than said...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
