i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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