so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
