I think I died a long time ago.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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