Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
