i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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