just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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