i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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