problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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