It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
