is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
