the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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