I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
