CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize