Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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