Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
