so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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