So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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