I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
