I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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