So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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