direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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