so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
