giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
