He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
