We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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