Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
