rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
