Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So squirting runs in the family.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
