Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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