I think I died a long time ago.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
