PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
