oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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