I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
