Don't you send me to vm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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