she looked like the before picture.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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