I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
