You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The feeling are messing with the penis
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
