I think i sorta joined a cult last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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