even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
