She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
