Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
