the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize