would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
