remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
