I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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