How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
