It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Randomize
