I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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