don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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