How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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