The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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