Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
