it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
