covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
kristin has been a bad kristin
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize